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Flying a Jetpack over Life’s Bumper-to-Bumper Traffic
Defined by some nerds in lab coats as a state of flourishing, personal growth, happiness, and fulfillment. This isn’t just luck — it’s reaping the benefits of your own hard work, giving yourself credit where it’s due, being grateful for the things that go your way, and believing that you’ll figure it out when they don’t. Doesn’t sound too bad, huh?
When you’re in a thriving state and life pelts you with lemons, you don’t just make lemonade — you start a lemonade-stand franchise and retire early.
What Thriving Looks Like
Some of the hallmarks of a thriving life.
We all have different priorities in life, so one man’s thriving might look different from the next guy’s. But what they have in common is a positive, resilient attitude that doesn’t get extinguished by a little adversity.
Signs You’re Thriving
- Feeling confident in any situation
- Feeling light and at ease most days
- Being connected to those around you
- Giving and receiving support from friends/family
- Adapting to whatever comes your way
- Greeting challenges with a smile
- Bouncing back from hardship with renewed energy
- Feeling you can give your all to almost anything, anytime
- Appreciating life
Where Men can Thrive
Thriving comes in many forms, and it’s never an all-or-nothing thing.
Thriving in one aspect of life can help you keep your head above water in another. The key here is playing to your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses without getting stuck on them. When you’re thriving, you stay confident despite life's blows, whether they’re in the form of a (harmless but annoying) chihuahua nipping at your ankles or a proverbial haymaker from Mike Tyson.
Personal Life
This is the trunk of the thriving tree. When you’re thriving personally, you’ve created opportunities for personal growth, self-discovery, and self-improvement, even when things get tough. You adopt a mindset where setbacks are chances to develop skills, abilities, and self-awareness. You’ve struck a balance in most aspects of your life, including work, relationships, your physical and mental health, and most things in between — filling you with a sense of appreciation for the life you’ve assembled.
Professional Life
You don’t have to be a professional athlete or a movie star to feel fulfilled in your career. When your job brings satisfaction, opportunities for growth, and a sense of purpose, you have the recipe for professional thriving. Whether your work itself is meaningful or the paycheck and hours allow you to live the non-work life you desire, it's all about carving a path for yourself that aligns with your passions and life goals both in and out of work. Don’t get me wrong — some jobs are too demeaning and dead-end to facilitate much thriving. But the biggest contributor by far is your mindset. And maybe that mindset will inspire you to find an even better fit.
Physical Thriving
When you’re physically thriving, you’ve developed a balanced and active lifestyle perfectly suited to your stage of life. You make healthy choices, but you’re not afraid to throw in a few extra buffalo wings on occasion. You’re active, get enough sleep, and maybe even do some stretching outside of the start of the 7th inning. While you do what you can to set yourself up for success, an essential part of physically thriving is being willing to accept what isn’t in your control. You can’t fight the steady march of time, but you can thrive in the face of it.
Emotional Thriving
Emotional thriving is about maintaining a positive mindset, accepting what we can and cannot control, and managing our emotions with the many ups and downs that life inevitably throws our way. It's about managing stress, anxiety, saddess, anger, and challenges effectively. Importantly, it’s not about avoiding these emotions — it's being able to feel, acknowledge, manage, and cope with them productively.
Growing & Getting Better
If you’ve made it this far, you’re likely getting the picture that thriving involves summoning the right mindset for every aspect of your life.
Thriving doesn’t just happen; it’s the result of many intentional decisions (some small, others big) that set us up for success. From getting enough sleep to consciously identifying your personal values and goals in life, everything you do to set yourself up for success keeps the ball rolling in the right direction.
While some things are outside of our control and inevitably put a damper on your mojo, there’s plenty that you can do to help yourself thrive. That said, it’s important to remember that there’s no magic pill to get you here.It’s like training for a marathon — it takes time, effort, and sacrifices along the way.
These are some of the training exercises you can use to make sure you don’t pull a hammy.
Embrace Challenges/Setbacks
It’s not easy, but reframing challenges as opportunities for growth is a tried and true way to set yourself up to thrive. Try to view a work challenge, house project, or misstep in a relationship as an offensive coordinator might view the last drive of a close game. You won’t win every time, but you can learn, grow, and get better with every attempt.
Set Meaningful Goals
Clearly identify what you want to achieve in different aspects of your life — whether it's personal growth, social connection, career success, or better physical/mental health. Setting clear, meaningful, measurable, and achievable goals gives you direction and purpose, and it encourages you to keep pushing past the roadblocks.
Prioritize Self-Care
Whatever taking care of yourself looks like, make sure you do it. Prioritize your sleep and set aside time to unwind — whether that means watching the game with your buddies, driving a bucket of balls down the range, or cooking yourself a five-star meal. Making the time is key, and sometimes you literally have to schedule it on your calendar and follow through with as much dedication as you’ve put into your golf swing.
Take Small Risks
No, don’t hang off a ladder while operating a chainsaw. But do take small, calculated risks that push you just slightly outside your comfort zone. Whether that’s trying a new sport or hobby, going to a (dreaded) trivia night with co-workers, or striking up a conversation with your in-laws, stepping outside your comfort zone in small doses can lead to personal growth, satisfaction, and countless new opportunities. While overwhelming stress is obviously not ideal, a little bit of healthy stress is necessary for that elusive “flow” state, which some could argue is the epitome of thriving.
Get Into Some Gratitude
Your mom was right — saying “thank you” makes a world of difference. The simple act of expressing gratitude has been shown to have the same mental health benefits as 15 minutes of meditation. So why not say thanks to your partner for making dinner (even if it was a little burnt), thanks to yourself for finally getting some yard work done, or thanks to the universe the next time the light turns green before you even have to tap the brakes.
Thrive with a Therapist
Nobody thrives in a vacuum, so why not accept help wherever you can find it? For support with identifying your strengths, where you’re struggling, and how to incorporate them both into your best life, consider making an appointment with a therapist in your area. This is your one shot at a thriving life — don’t let anything hold you back.
Man Therapy Provider Directory
Find a real life man-therapist.
We have partnered with real life professionals who specialize in men’s issues. Talking with a specialist can be way more efficient than googling symptoms. Browse and find one that sounds right for you; they’re ready for whatever you’ll throw at them.
To help you Thrive
A life of thriving is a work in progress. And that’s how we like it.
Stagnancy and complacency are the enemies of well-being, and a thriving man knows that manageable challenges give him the motivation and practice to keep getting better. Below, I’ve compiled a hefty list of resources, guides, and self-help tools to inspire you to constantly push your potential.
It’s time to stop just surviving and start thriving.
Below, you’ll find an office chock-full of Gentlemental Health guides just like this one as well as other in-person and online community resources to leverage for your own mental health and to share with other guys who need a hand. Let’s dive in.
Suggested Resources
Explore these suggested resources to enhance your relationships and build stronger connections.
Gentlemental Health 101
Improving your mental health means taking charge of every aspect of your world. Mental health issues are often interconnected, so explore how other areas of your life can impact each other and get your brain and life into tip-top shape.