Speaker 1:
Like to get out in the summers, go camping, ride motorcycles, and spend time outdoors. Got to the point where I couldn't, didn't feel like I was functioning. I could get it together enough to get go to work, but then it seemed like I'd get home and everything just went down the pot. Anger was part of the problem. I'd get mad at the dumbest things and I would wind up going to bed in the middle of the day on the weekend and kind of giving up. There was one evening I was laying in bed again, depressed and just kind of had given up, and that's a scary point to get to. There's not much to an impulse and I'd say I was just half an impulse away. I was too embarrassed to say it in the waiting room, and so I wrote it down on a piece of paper, "I'm having suicidal thoughts," and gave it to the lady there at the desk and they handled it very professionally, confidentially, and just kind of started the process.
He let me kind of babble and ramble on about what was going on and what my problems were, and he finally asked me if I was getting fed, and as soon as he said that, I knew exactly what he meant. Am I getting fed applied to the spiritual aspect of it for me. I see a lot of benefit in that as well, but since then I've kind of gradually learned that getting fed can mean a lot of different things. You can be fed by doing things that you're passionate about, things you enjoy, kind of give your soul something to look forward to.
It's okay to ask for help. It's one of those things where we can't always fix it on our own and for whatever reason, we're not too embarrassed to ask the guy at Home Depot, "I can't get my water heater to drain. What am I doing wrong?" But we think we can take care of medical issues like this on our own.