Many of us have a man in our lives who’s well-being we care about. This could be a friend, partner, family member, or colleague. We can see they are struggling but do not want to seek help. This situation can be frustrating and concerning for those who care about them. 

However, there are effective ways to offer support and encourage these people to get the assistance they need. This guide will explore how to recognize signs someone needs help, start difficult conversations, and know when professional intervention is necessary. If you’d like to explore additional resources and support, check out Man Therapy’s Worried About Someone Page. 

 

Signs Someone Needs Help

Before you can offer support, it's important to recognize the signs that someone is struggling with their mental health or other behavioral issues. While everyone experiences challenges differently, here are some common indicators to watch for

Changes in Behavior

• Withdrawing from social activities and relationships
• Neglecting hygiene or basic self-care
• Increased use of alcohol or drugs
• Decreased productivity at work or school

Changes in Mood

• Persistent sadness, irritability, or anger
• Rapid mood swings
• Excessive worry or anxiety
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities

Physical Changes

• Significant weight loss or gain
• Sleep disturbances - either sleeping too much or too little
• Frequent complaints of physical ailments like headaches or stomach aches

Changes in Communication

• Making negative statements about themselves or life in general
• Talking about feeling hopeless or trapped
• Expressing thoughts of death or suicide

Remember, these signs don't necessarily indicate a mental health condition, but they do suggest that your friend or loved one may be struggling and could benefit from some support.

How to Start a Difficult Conversation

Once you've recognized that your friend or loved one needs help, the next step is to talk to them about your concerns. This can be challenging, especially if they are resistant to the idea of seeking help. Here are some strategies for approaching this difficult conversation:

Choose the Right Time and Place

Select a time when you're both calm and have some privacy. Avoid having this conversation when either of you is tired, stressed, or in a rush. Additionally, it might be best to avoid having these kinds of conversations in a public setting.

Express Your Concerns with Care

Start the conversation by expressing your care and concern. Use "I" statements to share your observations without sounding accusatory. For example, "I've noticed you seem more withdrawn lately, and I'm worried about you."

Listen Without Judgment

Give your friend space to open up. Practice active listening by giving them your full attention and using minimal prompts if they are struggling to express themselves. Avoid interrupting or trying to immediately solve their problems1.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Use questions that encourage your friend or loved one  to share more about their experiences. For instance, "How have you been feeling lately?" or "What's been going on for you?"1

Offer Support

Let them know that you're there for them and that help is available. Ask what has helped them in the past when they’ve gone through difficult times.

Be Patient

Remember that this conversation is likely just the first step. Your friend or loved one may not be ready to open up fully or seek help immediately. Be patient and continue to show your support over time.

When to Seek Professional Help

In these situations, it can help to encourage your friend to find a therapist. They can use platforms like the Man Therapy Provider Directory to find one in their community.

Persistent Symptoms

If the signs you've noticed persist for more than two weeks and are interfering with your friend or loved one's daily life, work, or relationships, it's time to consider encouraging them to seek professional help.

Suicidal Thoughts or Behaviors*

If your friend talks about suicide or hurts themselves, this is a serious issue. It needs immediate help from a professional and you should call emergency services.

Substance Abuse

If your friend is using drugs or alcohol to cope with their problems, and this use is negatively impacting their life, they may need professional help to address both the substance use and underlying issues.

Severe Mood Swings or Behavioral Changes

Big changes in mood or behavior might mean that your friend or loved one needs help. These changes could show a serious mental health issue, and it is important for them to get a professional assessment and treatment.

Inability to Cope with Daily Life

If your friend is struggling with daily tasks, relationships, or work or school responsibilities, they might need professional help.

Encouraging Professional Help

Even when it's clear that professional help is needed, your friend or loved one may still resist due to a variety of factors. Here are some strategies to encourage them to seek help:

1. Normalize seeking help: Remind them that many people seek professional support and that it's a sign of strength, not weakness.
2. Offer practical support: Offer to help them find a therapist or accompany them to their first appointment.
3. Share resources: Provide information about mental health services, support groups, or helplines that they can access.
4. Address their concerns: Listen to their reasons for resisting help and try to address them. For example, if they are worried about confidentiality, explain how mental health professionals are bound by strict privacy laws.
5. Share success stories: If you or someone you know has benefited from therapy or mental health services, consider sharing that experience.

Remember, while you can offer support and encouragement, ultimately, the decision to take action and seek help must come from them. Continue to be there for them, express your care and concern, and be ready to support them when they are ready to take that next step on their mental health journey.
 

Helping a friend who's resistant to seeking help can be challenging, but your support can make a significant difference. You can help your friend by noticing when they are struggling. Approach conversations with care and empathy. Know when to suggest professional help. Your support is important for their mental health and well-being.

*Man Therapy is a third party resource connector and does not offer direct counseling or a crisis line. We encourage you to reach out to the National Lifeline by calling or texting 988 to get support. If you are in an immediate crisis, please call 911 now.